


Monster

by aly_m_cap



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 06:39:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16279565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aly_m_cap/pseuds/aly_m_cap
Summary: Locking Sam in the panic room of Bobby’s house to detox him was the hardest thing you’ve done. During a short fight, you call Sam a monster, seemingly making him have a realization of how he’s been acting jacked up on demon blood.





	Monster

The screams coming from downstairs sent shivers down your spine as you nursed the whiskey in your hand at 10 am. You, Dean, and Bobby were all tense, all half drunk, and all worrying about the man in the panic room below you.

Another scream ripped through Bobby’s house, “Y/N, Dean! Help!”

Tears brimmed your eyes, threatening to escape while you held the glass of whiskey up to your lips without drinking. It was killing you, listening to Sam scream out for you the way he was. Everything in you screamed to go let him out, but you knew this was for the best.

You and Dean left for awhile for a food and alcohol run, mostly alcohol run, to escape Sam’s pleas. You didn’t really know who was affected most between you and Dean, you both loved Sam with all of your hearts but in different ways. They had a brotherly bond and love that no one could touch. They would do anything for each other, hell they’ve died for each other.

But, you and Sam, loved each other. After Jess, Sam didn’t think he would find anyone to be with, especially after what he went through with the few girls he opened up to afterwards. But, before the demon blood, you stumbled upon the Winchester’s in your home town, hunting the same ghost you were. After some arguments and a few punches, you set out with the Winchester’s to do, what you all thought, was a simple salt and burn.

It was far from that.

After everyone getting thrown around and cut up, you managed to burn the object the ghost was attached to. You all limped out of the house, bruised and bloodied, and drove back to your apartment. You all patched each other up and the Winchester’s stayed with you for a couple days, letting you get to know them better, Sam especially.

Of course, after you realized Sam was addicted, it definitely hurt. You felt like you lost that intimacy between you two that was meant for just you two. Of course, Sam pleaded and tried convincing you that he never did anything intimate with the demon Ruby, but deep down you knew.

It didn’t mean that you didn’t still love Sam or want the best for him though. You were pissed at Ruby more than Sam, you knew she was using him, but you didn’t know what for.

For once, you agreed with Dean.

While you were setting down the last of the brown paper bags of alcohol, a scream ripped through the air of Bobby’s house. Tears brimmed your eyes as Sam screamed out, “Y/N. Please. Baby, I need help.” Your whole body tensed as you focused on the paper bag on Bobby’s table when Dean came up to you from behind. He gently rubbed a hand over your shoulder, saying nothing. He knew how bad you were hurting, especially when Sam would constantly call out for you.

Two more cries for you, you broke. You walked into the study where Bobby and Dean were sitting, “I’m going down.”

They began to protest but you held up a hand, “I ju-I just need to make sure he’s okay. He’s going through enough right now, I just need to make sure the hallucinations aren’t killing him.”

You could see Dean grind his teeth together and tears threaten to fall, “Okay, Y/N. If you need anything, yell.”

You nodded and turned on your heel towards the basement.

You could hear Sam whimpering slightly when you approached the large iron door. You opened the small iron latch to look into the room without opening the door. Sam was curled into a ball against the bed, his head tucked between folded arms across his knees. It broke your heart looking at him, even after everything. Quietly you spoke, “Sam? Babe, you okay?”

Sam slowly raised his head, tears stained his cheeks, “Y/N?” The tone of his voice made you think he didn’t know if it was you or not.

“Hey Sam.” You didn’t really know what to say to him, he obviously wasn’t okay. There’s nothing you could do about it though.

“Y/N,” he began to speak, relief across his face, but then started convulsing.

You screamed, “Dean, Bobby! Oh my god.” You threw open the iron door as fast as you could when Sam was thrown against the walls of the panic room. You couldn’t do much for Sam, being as massive as he was, you needed at least Dean’s help.

Dean and Bobby pushed passed you, holding Sam down when he finally settled back down towards the floor. You and Dean were in trances, watching this person you both love so much get thrown around and be in so much pain. Bobby yelled at both of you, snapping you both out of it to securely tie Sam down so he didn’t hurt himself any further.

You stayed in the panic room with Sam while Dean and Bobby went upstairs to talk. You held onto Sam’s secured hand, tears silently falling down your face as you watched him stir in his sleep. No matter what, after everything that has gone on in the last year, you still loved Sam. You wanted him to get better, you wanted your Sam back.

Sam opened his eyes slowly, darting around the room before his gaze landed on you. He tugged against the cuffs, looking down at his bound wrists and ankles and then back towards you, confused, “Y/N?”

You squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile before speaking, your voice still thick from crying, “You scared us there, Sammy.” You looked around the room, “You were being thrown across the room. We did this,” you nodded towards the cuffs, “to try and protect you.”

Sam sighed and tugged at the cuffs again, “Can you at least let me out now?”

You looked at Sam, tears brimming your eyes again, “I don’t think so Sam.”

His brow furrowed, anger glinting in his eyes, “Why? I’m okay.”

You sniffled as tears started to fall down your cheeks again, “Yeah, and I thought you were okay before you were thrown around the god damn panic room.” You stood up from the bed, running your hands through your hair, “I can’t do that again, Sam.”

Your back was to Sam when he rustled the cuffs again, “Y/N. Please, let me out.” You sighed, which only made Sam angrier, “Y/N. Let. Me. Out.”

You shivered at his tone, a tone he never used with you. You turned towards him, anger starting to boil deep in your stomach, “No.”

Sam laid back on the bed, tense, with his eyes closed, “Y/N. Uncuff me, right now. I’m fine.”

“Sam, we’re doing this for your own good.”

“My own good?” His eyes turned dark green, like moss, with rage, “How is this,” he nodded towards his raised cuffed wrist, “for my own good? This will end up hurting me more than being thrown around this room.”

“Sam, don’t. Please.” You closed your eyes and sighed as you could feel the rage tumble off him.

“Don’t?” He strained against the cuffs again, “No, you guys don’t. You’re holding me here against my will.” He slammed back against the pillow, “Uncuff me Y/N. Now.”

Something snapped inside you, your anger boiling over, vision turning red, “No Sam. I’m not uncuffing you.” You walked towards the bed, pointing at him, “This is for you own good, whether you think so or not. You aren’t Sam anymore, you aren’t my Sam anymore. This demon blood, it’s changed you. Changed you into something that I don’t even recognize anymore.”

Sam scoffed, “Changed me into what? You just think I’ve changed because you aren’t getting all of the attention anymore.” Tears brimmed your eyes at that comment as he continued, “I’m still Sam, just a stronger, better version of Sam. You would know that if you uncuffed me.”

You shook your head, choking back a sob as he stared at you, eyes burning through yours. “You’ve changed Sam, you just don’t want to see it because you’re so hopped up on the demon blood.” You paced around the room, “If this was anyone else-”

Sam interrupted you, “If this was anyone else, you’d what?”

His sass sparked pure rage in you. You snapped, quickly turning towards him, tears falling down your face as your words spit out like venom towards him, “I would kill you, Sam. You’re a monster.” 

You regretted what you said as soon as you said it. He wasn’t really a monster, he was an addict. It’s just, his addiction gave him more than hallucinations or a high you would get from actual drugs. What you said, made Sam’s anger disappear strangely. Sadness swept across his features and pooled in his eyes, now a soft hazel, “I am a monster, aren’t I?” He looked up towards the ceiling, from what you could tell, thinking about everything he’d done since he started.

You knelt down beside him, leaving your hands in your lap, “Sam, I didn’t mean what I said.”

He continued staring at the ceiling, “It doesn’t mater Y/N. I am, I’m a monster.”

You sighed, grabbing Sam’s hand with both of yours, “Sam, no.” You laid your head on the mattress of the bed, “Just please Sam. Do this, for me. For Dean.” You looked up towards Sam, “For yourself. Please. I need you back, Sam.”

Sam stared at you, tears threatening to escape the confines of his eyes, “Okay,” he whispered, “Okay, I will.”

You stood up from the floor, bending down to place a kiss on Sam’s forehead, “Please get some rest hun.” You gave him a small smile, “You and I both know Dean is freaking out that I’m down here.”

Sam scoffed, “Yeah, you’re right.” You turned and started walking away when Sam spoke, stopping you in your tracks, “Y/N? Will you let me out soon though?”

You smiled in the doorway of the panic room, “Yeah Sammy, of course.”

Sam settled into the mattress and closed his eyes as you shut the door.

When you went to check on Sam later and free him from his cuffs, you realized he wasn’t in the panic room. Sam escaped, giving in to his addiction, finding Ruby, and doing everything you were hoping he wouldn’t. You knew what he was gearing up for.

Lilith.


End file.
